Sign #1: Unforgiveness, lack of mercy, compassion, pity, and sympathy towards the people around you (family members, coworkers, supervisors, etc.)
“For this reason the kingdom of heaven may be compared to a king who wished to settle accounts with his slaves. 24 When he had begun to settle them, one who owed him ten thousand talents was brought to him. 25 But since he did not have the means to repay, his lord commanded him to be sold, along with his wife and children and all that he had, and repayment to be made. 26 So the slave fell to the ground and prostrated himself before him, saying, ‘Have patience with me and I will repay you everything.’
27 And the lord of that slave felt compassion and released him and forgave him the debt. 28 But that slave went out and found one of his fellow slaves who owed him a hundred denarii; and he seized him and began to choke him, saying, ‘Pay back what you owe.’ 29 So his fellow slave fell to the ground and began to plead with him, saying, ‘Have patience with me and I will repay you.’
30 But he was unwilling and went and threw him in prison until he should pay back what was owed. 31 So when his fellow slaves saw what had happened, they were deeply grieved and came and reported to their lord all that had happened. 32 Then summoning him, his lord *said to him, ‘You wicked slave, I forgave you all that debt because you pleaded with me.
33 Should you not also have had mercy on your fellow slave, in the same way that I had mercy on you?’ 34 And his lord, moved with anger, handed him over to the torturers until he should repay all that was owed him. 35 My heavenly Father will also do the same to you, if each of you does not forgive his brother from your heart.”
–Matthew 18:23-35 NASB1995
Sign #2: Holding a grudge and feeling offended.
In the above parable, the forgiven slave did not forgive his fellow slave (or servant). In relational terms, when we hold a grudge against another because they said or did something that offended us, then we are not canceling the relational “debt” that they owe us.
When we realize how we have been forgiven of an insurmountable, unpayable debt (though believing in what Jesus did on the cross in order to cancel our relational debt to God), then we can truly understand how much we’ve been forgiven. Then it will become possible for us to forgive anybody who has ever violated our trust or wronged, abused, or offended us.
For no matter how wicked, bad, or evil an injustice somebody committed against us, it cannot be compared to the wicked, bad, and evil injustices we committed against God in the ways that we have violated His trust.
Only when we understand the gravity of our sin and the incomparable grace of God that has forgiven us–only then will we be empowered to forgive others from the heart (not holding their offenses against them, but letting them [or the matter] go.) When we forgive, we are actually setting ourselves free from the bitterness that will otherwise poison us from the inside-out in every area of our lives.
Sign #3: Envy and jealousy
If Envy is the root of an apple tree, then Gossip and Slander is the rotten fruit. People can’t often see, spot, or identify Envy, for it is like a crocodile [or whale or sea serpent] that swims beneath the surface of a river [or large body of water]. It is like the root system of a rotten apple tree; usually you cannot see those roots because they are hidden “underneath the surface.”
However, when a crocodile’s prey comes to the riverbank for a drink, that is when the green beast of Envy manifests itself by becoming visible for all to see. Once a person starts gossiping or slandering another person, the discerning person can more readily identify, “Wow, that person is struggling with Envy and Jealousy.”
The person going on a safari may be watching different animals drink from a watering hole. Suddenly, when that quiet, still water erupts and a crocodile lunges at an antelope, the safari goer comes to a shocking realization: “Wow, did you see that crocodile?!”
Sign #4: Gossip and slander
On an apple tree, people can see the fruit, for it is not hidden beneath the surface of the ground like the tree’s roots. People can observe [the fruits of] gossip and slander a little more readily than they can [its roots of] bitterness and envy, because they can see and hear the open accusations and gossip through their faculties of hearing and seeing.
Many people may not be able to identify gossip and slander when they are the thick of it because they too may be struggling with its effects in their own lives. But as we mature and grow in discernment by engaging in healthy relationships, discovering what love truly looks like, then we can more readily identify what love is NOT (see Hebrews 5:13).
Then we can more readily identify love from its counterfeits. Love is not arrogant, self-seeking, narcissistic, and it does not envy (See 1 Corinthians 13:4ff).
Sign #5: Ungracious criticism, judgementality, and accusation.
“Jerusalem, Jerusalem, who kills the prophets and stones those who are sent to her! How often I wanted to gather your children together, the way a hen gathers her chicks under her wings, and you were unwilling.”
–Matthew 23:37 NASB1995
The city of Jerusalem was under the influence of leaders similar in character to that of King Ahab and Queen Jezebel of ancient Israel in Samaria. Jezebel killed the true prophets and stoned the people who got in her way.
Although religious people in America may not culturally get away with literally stoning people to death, it is very common to see people “cast stones” at others in the figurative sense through judgmental gossip, slander, and accusation.
As recorded in the Ancient Writings of 1 Kings 21, King Ahab was envious of Naboth, for he coveted Naboth’s vineyard and was disappointed when Naboth refused to exchange his inheritance for its value in money.
Sign #6: Self-pity
So Ahab came into his house sullen and vexed because of the word which Naboth the Jezreelite had spoken to him; for he said, “I will not give you the inheritance of my fathers.” And he lay down on his bed and turned away his face and ate no food. 5 But Jezebel his wife came to him and said to him, “How is it that your spirit is so sullen that you are not eating food?” 6 So he said to her, “Because I spoke to Naboth the Jezreelite and said to him, ‘Give me your vineyard for money; or else, if it pleases you, I will give you a vineyard in its place.’ But he said, ‘I will not give you my vineyard.’”
–1 Kings 21:4-6 NASB1995
Sign #7: People-pleasing, pretend piety for self-serving ends
As Ahab wallowed in self-pity when he didn’t get his way, his wife, Jezebel, hatched a plan. First she advised Ahab to proclaim a fast, posing herself as a godly woman and spiritual leader who had a “close relationship with God” (see Revelation 2:20a). Then she said to “seat Naboth at the the head of the people.” In other words,
“Draw attention to Naboth by talking him up, complimenting him, and acknowledging him with a brief word of honor. However, then seat two passionate, ambitious, zealous, up-and-coming, influential men who don’t care about their reputation and don’t mind tearing others down to do the dirty work. Get a couple men who couldn’t care less and aren’t afraid to drag Naboth’s name through the mud.
Have them testify against Naboth, saying that he cursed God and the king. Have them call him a racist, homophobic, greedy, selfish, false, heretical, blasphemous, watered-down, ear-tickling, self-help, [insert your favorite secular or religious ad hominem attack here], prosperity gospel preacher who cares about nobody but himself.
Then take Naboth and stone him to death. Two or three witnesses is all that’s needed to stone somebody, so Naboth doesn’t need to have a voice if we go about this right.” (my modern, amplified paraphrase, see 1 Kings 21:7ff)
Sign #8: Spiritual complacency and relational apathy
“Who then is the faithful and sensible slave whom his master put in charge of his household to give them their food at the proper time? 46 Blessed is that slave whom his master finds so doing when he comes. 47 Truly I say to you that he will put him in charge of all his possessions.
48 But if that evil slave says in his heart, ‘My master is not coming for a long time,’ 49 and begins to beat his fellow slaves and eat and drink with drunkards; 50 the master of that slave will come on a day when he does not expect him and at an hour which he does not know, 51 and will cut him in pieces and assign him a place with the hypocrites; in that place there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.
–Matthew 24:45-51 NASB1995
Everyone who serves a narcissistic mindset is a slave to narcissism (see John 8:34; Romans 6:22-23; Galatians 4:9; Titus 2:3; 3:3; 2 Peter 2:19b) (1) Slavery is an inevitable reality for every human being on the planet, whether or not they are employed, unemployed, under forced labor, or wealthy and retired in the socio-economic sense.
Thus, the question is not, “Are you a slave?,” but rather “To what or to whom are you a slave?” Are you a slave to guilt, shame, low-self-esteem, greed, lust, envy, pride, gossip, lying, addictions, self-pity, fleeting dopamine and adrenaline rushes, or the expectations of others?
Are you a slave to the approval of others, money, drugs, fear, anxiety, or depression? Or are you a slave to God, set apart for His work, dreams, and destiny for your life? Are you a slave to righteousness and a prisoner of hope? (See Romans 6:16ff; Zechariah 9:12)
Is your joy to know Your Master and to share His dreams, joys, and ambitions as He sets people free from depression, guilt, shame, religious bondage, perfectionism, worry, sickness, mental disabilities, learning and communication disorders, etc?
Sign #9: Self-seeking mindsets and attitudes
In the above Matthew 24 passage (which speaks prophetically about the “end times”), some who belong to Jesus (the Master) got disillusioned and/or skeptical about Jesus returning again to the earth for judgment, accountability, evaluation, and/or rewards for each person regarding their words, character, and life, which was a gift from Him in the first place.
Some slaves remained faithful and expectant of Jesus’ return, loving God, serving others in love, and dealing with any surfacing problems or character issues the same way that their Master would respond to them. However, some slaves became self-serving and narcissistic.
Consequently, the beat up the other slaves with gossip, slander, accusation, and cruelty, and lived for pleasure, serving various passions and addictions, including drunkenness. See also 2 Timothy 3; 2 Peter 2.
Sign #10: Hypocritical judgment
The final verse of Matthew 24 notes that their Master will assign the narcissistic slaves to the place with the hypocrites, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth. How were these narcissistic slaves hypocritical or have something in common with “the hypocrites”?
They claimed that Jesus was their Master and belonged to His house in service. However, they did not practice what Jesus lived out practically from the “overflow” of His intimate relationship with God the Father.
For more information on fighting the good fight to engage in the close relationship that God that created us for and desires for us, see this post: “Would You Like to Throw Jezebel to the Dogs Personally?”
- Verses accessed by doing a word search for “enslave” (NASB1995) on BibleGateWay.com
